One of the most heinous insults I’ve ever had the displeasure of feeling in my gut stemmed from the cesspool that is reddit.com, and read a little something like this:
you look like the kind of girl that starts banging a 23 year old dropout your sophomore year because he has a Mitsubishi Eclipse and he’ll buy you cigarettes.”
-/u/bumcubble, reddit.com
This comment was posted on a picture of young woman who truly looked as if she could have made some better choices in her twenty-something years on here on earth, but the details here are extraneous. The point is that the Mitsubishi Eclipse 3G is the embodiment of poor decisions from all parties involved, including the manufacturer and consumer.
Mitsubishi saw wonderful amounts of success in their 2G Eclipse with its AWD and turbo 2-liter that would make its appearance in The Fast and The Furious. What Mitsubishi did in the following years can be summarized in a little personal anecdote: It was the summer after I graduated from the 8th grade. I was a scrawny, somewhat odd kid who carried my body weight’s worth of insecurity in the pockets of my cargo pants everywhere I went, and as the result of some paperwork being grossly misfiled by a cosmic office clerk in the sky, I ended up with a girl having a crush on me. Now, this was completely foreign to me, but I liked the idea, and formed a crush on her as a direct reaction to her crush on me. We would stay up into the stillest hours of the night, usually 9 PM, talking over the phone and genuinely enjoying each others’ company. However, once things started really getting serious, such as mentions of actually hanging out with each other in person, I panicked. So I did what any self-respecting young man who didn’t want a relationship would do: called my cousin’s girlfriend, told her to pose as my girlfriend for a cool minute, then tell my sweetheart that I’d found someone else.
Minus the complete social ineptitude, this is exactly what Mitsubishi did; it’s almost as if they said, “This car is doing too well, we need to make it strictly worse in every way”. AWD was replaced with FWD, the power was scaled back by about 25 HP, and the 2.0 L turbo was replaced by a 3.0 V6 in the GT model, which I do still admittedly enjoy for its torque and the fact that it’s shared by the Dodge Grand Caravan. The exterior got turned into the unloved stepson of a ’94 Mustang, and the manual transmission, due to a design flaw, was designed to wear out its synchros after about 100,000 miles. They modified their clear coat formula to dissolve completely after 5 years of being in the sun (weight reduction), and they figured quality electronics and components were for chumps, though this wasn’t far from Mitsubishi’s typical fare even with their flagship Evos.
Somehow, thousands of sweet, innocent souls have managed to dodge or completely ignore these flaws and have given this car a very passionate following. The drivers who adamantly and shamelessly defend this vehicle constitute the other half of the bad-decision circle, leaving me to believe that anyone who purchased one is one of three types people:
- Ignorant (yours truly)
- Has horrible taste in cars and life decisions (how ya doin’)
- Poor, in desperate need of a car, and figured that 200 HP, an unfairly good exhaust note, and a sick, purely superficial wing would be the most likely option to land them some honeys in the passenger seat (pleading the fifth on this one)
Overall, this car feels about as reliable as your lifting buddy who texts you that he’ll meet you at the gym at 6:15 because he’s running late, tells you he’s leaving at 7:00, and calls you at 7:45 to tell you he can’t make it tonight. Despite being a mediocre passenger vehicle at best, it serves as an excellent conduit for satire, irony, and miscellaneous self deprecation. It is unadulterated crap and I wouldn’t hesitate to trade it for almost anything, even a 250cc motorcycle and a 12 pack of Shock Top.
I love it like a child.
Monroe Vallejo is an English Major from Salinas, California. A post office worker by day and a gym rat by night, he enjoys riding motorcycles, playing, composing, and producing his own music, and short-shifting his ’01 Mitsubishi Eclipse GT for that fuel economy.
AARON MCCAHERTY!!!!! WOOH says
The car has been out for 17 fucking years and you just now make some dumb ass ranting post, did it ever occur to you why they stopped with dsm (specifications) Is the only way I can put it…and the clear coat shit happened to EVERY FUCKING CHRYSLER UNDER 05 what the fuck..just keeping my post short and simple… but God damn you sound like a 16 year old kid who didn’t get the right first car…..ill leave my info here so I can make fun of you forever when you reply…garbage waste of a fucking post
mark says
thank you i thought the same after reading this-my 2000 GT still has really nice paint, is completely dependable (145,000 miles) and is great fun to drive. It gets MANY positive comments.
Sharon says
I’m glad you said it my friend. I’m feel like I’m stopping but I’m replying to your comment not his! I liked your phrase “short & simple”. Enough said ☺️
I have a 2003 Eclipse RS that’s 16 years old! She’s a beauty! Never had an issue but she’s had her regular maintenance. If Mitsubishi comes out with a new Eclipse, I would get another!
Devin Rametta says
I own a 2004 Mitsubishi Eclipse with the 4 cylinder engine and to be honest it has been the best car I have ever driven/owned not to mention with it being bone stock it still goes fast with a top speed of 125 (so far) so don’t be ragging on the 3g bc it’ll out run you any day just tell me when to pick up and go. If you wish to argue with this comment email me at ramettadevin62@gmail.com
Da Captain says
Read this but I’m still gonna buy it lol and get a bumper sticker that says poor decisions on it lol it sounds like fun. I mean owning a gts is better then having any civic or cobalt or even a base neon I ain’t got money and I’m tired of driving my Camry to car meets man it should be fine
Luis says
Not everyone wants a turbo and if you were smart enough to actually look into the other models you’d see you mislabeled your car as a GT instead of a GTS .. The GT comes w a turbo and is capable for mods.. I’ve seen videos of people adding turbos to the 3.0 GTS and it was a beast because of its low end torque.. as a NA fan the hum of the stock eclipse is decent .. sure not a V8 but if you wanted competition stats you gotta mod.. or does daddy money not cover mods? And you’re clearly not well versed in the mitsubishi realm to get a GTS for specs.. lol you added a big cold air intake when if you read the manual the car comes with a cold air intake stock.. big power you’re adding there lol better yet buy the carbon fiber hood with the cut out for the stock intake.. thats 60 mph winds straight in your stock intake on highway speeds if you still have it lol